Summer Days of Old and Shackles of Present

There was a time that i loved summer nights, it always gave me hope about my future.

Hanging with my friends by the seaside, enjoying a beer while talking about the only thing that was very mysterious to us; girls.

We used to fantasize about them, sharing our emotions about certain summer romances, telling stories of our brief encounters with the other gender.

There was a time when all of this was really enjoyable, there was a time when i secretly smoked my cigarette in summer breeze while thinking about that certain girl.

Thinking back, it really made me happy, melancholy about romance always made me happy in some ways, it made me feel special, like i my feelings would matter, like im in some quality teenage drama, always my favourite track enters at the end of the day, like it was the end of an another episode.

Those were the good times, i miss them dearly...

Now im 22, nothing is same anymore, now im working in an office behind a computer all day, my only curiosity is my dinner, i rarely feel happy when i feel the summer breeze now, my oldman is getting tired, my mother is getting colder and my sister is getting distant.

I love them, i love them all, but alas, time passes and i sit alone with crumbles of hope, eating myself out, concerned about tomorrow, thinking about days left for my paycheck.

I feel like...old.

But couple of days ago you told me that i was immature, there was something not quite right about me and you cannot put me in some place in your head.

I don't blame you, maybe i am, maybe it's the alcohol, we all have our own evils.

I drink fairly much these days, i love it when i get drunk, i love it when i feel lively and stupid.

It reminds me of those summer days when we tried to get drunk and when we did get drunk, we would sleep in the beach sands cause of our fear from our families.

It was in Akçay, a familiar place to you.

I never returned to that place after the age 18.