Talkin 2 Myself

I went away I guess to open up some lanes
But there was no one who even knew what I was going through
Hatred was flowing through my veins
On the verge of going insane
I almost made a mission to diss my friends
It's like I was jealous of them cause the attention they were gettin'
I felt horrible about myself
They were spittin and I wasn't
Anyone who was buzzin back then coulda got it
Almost went at my brother too
God it feels like I'm goin' psychotic
Thank god that I didn't do it
I would of had my ass handed to me
And I knew it but Ace wasn't here to see me through it
I'm in the booth poppin another pill tryna talk myself into it
Are you stupid? You gon' start dissin people for no reason?
Especially when you can't even write a decent punchline even
You're lying to yourself, you're slowly dying, you're denying
Your health is declinging with your self esteem, you're crying out for help

But I must be talkin to the wall though
I don't see nobody else ( I guess I keep talkin to myself)
But all these other rappers suck is all that I know
I've turned into a hater, I've put up a false bravado
But Fool is not a egomaniac that's not his motto
HE's not a desperado he's desperate it's startin to bottle inside em
One foot on the brake one on the throttle
Fallin asleep with artists block in the parking lot of mcdonalds
But instead of feeling sorry for yourself do something about it
Admit you got a problem you brain is clouded you pouted long enough
It isn't them it's you you fuckin baby
Quit worrying about what they do and do fuckin harmony
I'm fucking going crazy

So I pick up myself off the ground and fuckin slam before I drown
Hit my bottom so hard I bounce twice suffice this time around
It's different them last two years didn't count
2008 I was on depression, 2010 I was flushing em out
I've come up to make it up to you no more fucking around
I've got something to prove to my friends I feel like I let em down
So please accept my apology I finally feel like I'm back to normal
Let me formally reintroduce myself to you for those of you who don't know
The new mes back to the old me and homie I don't show no
Signs of slowin up, pullin up, blowin up, all over no mo
My life is no longer a movie but the shows aint over homos
I'm back with a vengeance homie DCD keep ya head up
Ace keep ya head up, Lynx keep ya head up
Don't let up, keep slayin em
Cause I know what it's like
I struggle with this shit every single day